As I start this blog, I don't know how many of you even read any of my blogs. But I have come to see and realize that when using social site when you go to post something ,on any of them especially Face book, if your going to post make darn sure you know what you going to say before, you write.
What I was going to type and write was. In a land and time many many years ago there were two Kingdoms Judea to the north and Israel to the south. The children of Israel got to the point where they wanted a king like all the other heathen nations around them had. So GOD gave them what they wanted as He always had, weather it was good and right for them or not. But he told them that the King would be a burdensome King. So He gave them Saul. he did as GOD said he would and worse.He turned from GOD. made all of Israel to suffer. But there was a young man, who would become the Future King of Israel, a man after Gods own heart. David, yes this same David who slew a bear with his hands,yes this the same David that slew Goliath the philistine. yes the same David who sent a man to his death so he could have his wife. yes this same little David who play the harp for the King he would replace as KING. yes this same David that the KING SAUL would become jealous of and would seek to kill numerous times.
What I was attempting to convey was the first lines of what David said in Psalms 23; when He wrote;- ( Though I walk threw the valley of the shadow of death,I will fear not evil. ). David from a very early age was chosen of God to be King over all of Israel. North and South combined and it did happen.just read 1st and 2 nd Samuel . David went through so much ,so much that none or a lot of people will never go through. Being chosen of God is not the easiest thing to be because no matter what it seems that there's a target on your back at all time, and I believe David knew that from the beginning. Weather God had or has called you from the womb, It's not only bad that we are born into sin but it's like a double jeopardy to be called from the womb, it you can understand that concept. Though i walk threw the valley of death~!
I believe that David knew from a early age as I started to state early that there wouldn't be a day that His live could be taken from him. He knew there would be struggles in life. But you know what, in all of this He knew that He had the one person on his side, weather he lived that day or died. He had The One Living God on his side, WHY? because of the promises God had made Him. that He would be His GOD.
Its was my mistake the other night on Face book to not clearly explain myself. no matter how many people cares for Me. All we really need is God. What i said and what was suppose to come out was two different things. What I meant to say that night was this. I am 51 going on 52. I was and still am a Minister of the Gospel of the Kingdom of God weather I ever preach again, no I am not being arrogant. But as the Bible speaks, I have made sure my calling, Yes without a shadow of any doubt I believe and know that God called Me from an early age also, even though it was not manifested til I was 21 or 22 years old. Do I still believe God is with me. Well I would be stupid if I though He wasn't. He said in his word that He would be my God no matter what with the exception of Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Has He God ever left me NO even though I've walked away a couple of times, Has he been there waiting on Me with open arms YES, The Bible tells me He was and Is.
All I was saying was don't call 911, is because I know where my walk with God is, and were we are headed. Friend, family, kids.I want you all to understand I thing. God is My God he is a living, breathing, walking, talking, all knowing,seeing, and powerful God. He for just me alone has done so much to prove to me that he is My God even though I have really never proved anything to him, He has answered me when I was not worthy of an answer. He has opened up the windows of Heaven for me even when I was not worthy. He has Blessed me every morning for the past 51 years and hope He blesses me with another 51 years of the precious breath of life IF He should tarry His Sons second coming. Everyday I ask God for forgiveness for everything I have done wrong and to forgive me those things that I can't remember that I have done . Wrong.
So see That is why I said though I walk through the valley of death . I have no fear. For God is my God and he watches over me. My comment had nothing to do with suicide! period
Though I walk through the valley of Death ,I will fear no evil.
Thank and til I do or say something stupid again.
Shalom and Pray for the peace of Jerusalem
jesseb
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Friday, May 28, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
I ain't quite there yet ( but I will be ) pray for those in need !
Morning all. I would like to take this time to thank all who have prayed for me, and continue to, even when I have ask them not to. I know to those who do pray it sounds selfish. but sorry that just the way I feel. no not selfish, just pray for those who are in need. God is taking care of me as we speak. I sit here at times and wonder what are they praying and asking God to do to me and I can almost answer that question , I'm pretty sure I know what 2 of them are doing. This morning I would like to try and blog about. I ain't quite there yet! ( but I will be )
As some of you that have ever read any of my blogs knows that I suffer from - uni polar another form of being Bi-polar, anxiety, depression, social anxiety disorder and a few other thing I wont mention in this blog because they are different subjects. I myself believe that all of us who suffer from any of these disorders are in as bad of shape, and I believe that they rate right up there as being as bad a heart attack, strokes, heart disease, high blood pressure and so on and on. Anyone who has never suffered from depression or the others mentioned above has never woke up in the morning too it. As the Lady in the one commercal that say its like I have to wind myself up in the morning, just to get going. Well Folks for all you who have never suffered it before you rag someone who does or put down someone who does. Just watch that person.
Uni-polar,Bi-polar depression, anxiety is not an act. Those who suffer from it has to most days live behind a mask. Making everyone think that everything is going smooth and their in control, When really deep down in side all we really want to do is find a rock most days and hide and never want to come out.
All these different diseases affect people differently, some suffer through mild depression to severe depression. I believe it is easier to treat mild depression than it is severe for the reasons that, those who suffer severe depression hang on to it much longer than those who suffer mildly. I have suffered from all theses for many years and really never knew what I was going through until I was diagnoses as to having them. I know what some of you are thinking waa waa poor pitiful him. Hey laugh at me that's fine but there are millions of people who suffer the same thing. And there are millions how die every years by not knowing what is going on inside them. Its called suicide. Yes suicide
In most cases Different Doctors or phsyco Doctor tend to agree and disagree with weather Bi-polar and depression is Hereditary. well humm out of the 10 articles I have read on the subjest, 7 said it is and 3 said it was'nt. Friends finding the right medication's to treat the problems is a guessing game. I have been on several different medications and some help for a while and some either didn't work for me at all or made it even worse. Out of the 3 doctors who said that it wasn't hereditary. said that if those who suffered from the disease's would live a stress free life, eat a complete healthy diet, an get a good nights sleep, 8 to10 hours a night. then. that in some way would take care of most, (Get it most of the problem's. )
I would like to insert a couple of articles into this blog from some other folks who suffer.Even so, when a parent who is bipolar sees the disease manifest itself in a child, statistics don’t seem to matter anymore. It just feels as if the disease is simply hereditary.
Stacey Galka, 38, of Denver, is a single mom who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when she was 26. At that point, her daughter was already 5 years old. Stacey says her own diagnosis was a relief because it helped her to make sense of why her life had always been so chaotic, but when her daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 13, Stacey had trouble accepting it. “In all honesty, if I had known then what I know now, I would have never had a kid,” she says. “It was difficult enough for me to go through what I did."
Is bipolar disorder hereditary? Yes, bipolar disorder runs in families; it is the most genetic major psychiatric condition. It is more genetic than schizophrenia and major depression. If you have a parent or sibling with bipolar disorder, then there is a 10-15% likelihood that you will develop it. If you have a second-degree relative like a grandparent or aunt, then the likelihood is half that amount (5-10%).Bipolar disorder is vastly underdiagnosed. On average, it takes 20 years or until a person is almost 40 years of age, before bipolar disorder is diagnosed. Dr. Ghaemi explains that Bipolar disorder is overlooked for many reasons. Most people have a classic picture of a euphoric person as being manic. However two-thirds of manic episodes are not elated, but an irritable or depressed mood. To complicate matters, half of all people with bipolar disorder have lack of insight, so they do not even realize they are ill.
How does depression present in bipolar patients? Bipolar depression can look different in some ways from unipolar (major) depression. Symptoms that are more common in bipolar patients than in unipolar depression include:
Brief depressions. In bipolar depression, the average length is three to six months, but in unipolar depression it is six to twelve months. Some depressions are only 2 to 3 weeks in length. The shorter the depression, the more likely it is to be bipolar.
Atypical depression. You may sleep more and eat more as opposed to typical depressions where patients sleep less and eat less.
Psychotic depression. You have delusions or paranoid delusions. Or, you hear voices or see things. Psychotic depression is more common in bipolar disorder.
Post partum depression. Compared to unipolar depression, post partum depression is more common in bipolar disorder.
Recurrent depression. The more episodes of depression you have, the more likely you are to be bipolar rather than unipolar. More than 95% of bipolar patients have recurrent episodes, versus unipolar patients, of which only two-thirds have recurrent episodes.
Antidepressant effects. If you've had multiple trials of antidepressants and they don't work, you could have bipolar disorder. If you experience mania or hypomania while on an antidepressant, you usually have bipolar disorder. If you get better on an antidepressant, but then relapse into recurrent depressions, you may have bipolar disorder So see the definitions and diagnoses of the deseases vary from one to another. Friends I ain't quite there yet ( but I will be ) .
Friends as we all do who suffer from these deseases, we have our good days and bad days. And by saying some of the things in this blog, I hope to not offend any. But spend your time praying for those who are in real need. and that most important need is finding Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour. And making it not into the Kingdom of heaven as they think their headed. But pray that they make it into The Kingdom of GOD that will be set up upon this earth at GODS appointed time. That is the real need to be praying for. Not selfishly for me.
I would like to thank Stacy in Denver and also Dr Ghaemi for posting their articles for all to read. Thank you two very much.
Til next time Shaloam and pray for the Peace of Jerusalem
jesseb
As some of you that have ever read any of my blogs knows that I suffer from - uni polar another form of being Bi-polar, anxiety, depression, social anxiety disorder and a few other thing I wont mention in this blog because they are different subjects. I myself believe that all of us who suffer from any of these disorders are in as bad of shape, and I believe that they rate right up there as being as bad a heart attack, strokes, heart disease, high blood pressure and so on and on. Anyone who has never suffered from depression or the others mentioned above has never woke up in the morning too it. As the Lady in the one commercal that say its like I have to wind myself up in the morning, just to get going. Well Folks for all you who have never suffered it before you rag someone who does or put down someone who does. Just watch that person.
Uni-polar,Bi-polar depression, anxiety is not an act. Those who suffer from it has to most days live behind a mask. Making everyone think that everything is going smooth and their in control, When really deep down in side all we really want to do is find a rock most days and hide and never want to come out.
All these different diseases affect people differently, some suffer through mild depression to severe depression. I believe it is easier to treat mild depression than it is severe for the reasons that, those who suffer severe depression hang on to it much longer than those who suffer mildly. I have suffered from all theses for many years and really never knew what I was going through until I was diagnoses as to having them. I know what some of you are thinking waa waa poor pitiful him. Hey laugh at me that's fine but there are millions of people who suffer the same thing. And there are millions how die every years by not knowing what is going on inside them. Its called suicide. Yes suicide
In most cases Different Doctors or phsyco Doctor tend to agree and disagree with weather Bi-polar and depression is Hereditary. well humm out of the 10 articles I have read on the subjest, 7 said it is and 3 said it was'nt. Friends finding the right medication's to treat the problems is a guessing game. I have been on several different medications and some help for a while and some either didn't work for me at all or made it even worse. Out of the 3 doctors who said that it wasn't hereditary. said that if those who suffered from the disease's would live a stress free life, eat a complete healthy diet, an get a good nights sleep, 8 to10 hours a night. then. that in some way would take care of most, (Get it most of the problem's. )
I would like to insert a couple of articles into this blog from some other folks who suffer.Even so, when a parent who is bipolar sees the disease manifest itself in a child, statistics don’t seem to matter anymore. It just feels as if the disease is simply hereditary.
Stacey Galka, 38, of Denver, is a single mom who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when she was 26. At that point, her daughter was already 5 years old. Stacey says her own diagnosis was a relief because it helped her to make sense of why her life had always been so chaotic, but when her daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 13, Stacey had trouble accepting it. “In all honesty, if I had known then what I know now, I would have never had a kid,” she says. “It was difficult enough for me to go through what I did."
Is bipolar disorder hereditary? Yes, bipolar disorder runs in families; it is the most genetic major psychiatric condition. It is more genetic than schizophrenia and major depression. If you have a parent or sibling with bipolar disorder, then there is a 10-15% likelihood that you will develop it. If you have a second-degree relative like a grandparent or aunt, then the likelihood is half that amount (5-10%).Bipolar disorder is vastly underdiagnosed. On average, it takes 20 years or until a person is almost 40 years of age, before bipolar disorder is diagnosed. Dr. Ghaemi explains that Bipolar disorder is overlooked for many reasons. Most people have a classic picture of a euphoric person as being manic. However two-thirds of manic episodes are not elated, but an irritable or depressed mood. To complicate matters, half of all people with bipolar disorder have lack of insight, so they do not even realize they are ill.
How does depression present in bipolar patients? Bipolar depression can look different in some ways from unipolar (major) depression. Symptoms that are more common in bipolar patients than in unipolar depression include:
Brief depressions. In bipolar depression, the average length is three to six months, but in unipolar depression it is six to twelve months. Some depressions are only 2 to 3 weeks in length. The shorter the depression, the more likely it is to be bipolar.
Atypical depression. You may sleep more and eat more as opposed to typical depressions where patients sleep less and eat less.
Psychotic depression. You have delusions or paranoid delusions. Or, you hear voices or see things. Psychotic depression is more common in bipolar disorder.
Post partum depression. Compared to unipolar depression, post partum depression is more common in bipolar disorder.
Recurrent depression. The more episodes of depression you have, the more likely you are to be bipolar rather than unipolar. More than 95% of bipolar patients have recurrent episodes, versus unipolar patients, of which only two-thirds have recurrent episodes.
Antidepressant effects. If you've had multiple trials of antidepressants and they don't work, you could have bipolar disorder. If you experience mania or hypomania while on an antidepressant, you usually have bipolar disorder. If you get better on an antidepressant, but then relapse into recurrent depressions, you may have bipolar disorder So see the definitions and diagnoses of the deseases vary from one to another. Friends I ain't quite there yet ( but I will be ) .
Friends as we all do who suffer from these deseases, we have our good days and bad days. And by saying some of the things in this blog, I hope to not offend any. But spend your time praying for those who are in real need. and that most important need is finding Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour. And making it not into the Kingdom of heaven as they think their headed. But pray that they make it into The Kingdom of GOD that will be set up upon this earth at GODS appointed time. That is the real need to be praying for. Not selfishly for me.
I would like to thank Stacy in Denver and also Dr Ghaemi for posting their articles for all to read. Thank you two very much.
Til next time Shaloam and pray for the Peace of Jerusalem
jesseb
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
One step from over the edge,
They've always said, "that which doesn't kill you, only makes one stronger". Well sometimes I wonder about that. How far is to far, and how far is one step from over the edge? Every day it seems to be a different question with different answers. That's something I have to ask myself everyday, only, sad thing is I can not answer that problem. And some morning I just want to end it all, (Life). I've always thought of myself as a strong person not having to rely on anyone. I think that I was a dependable hard worker at times. I gave all I had, I hope, then there was the day that reality set in. One would ask theirself, what did I do? Is there something I should have done different, But I guess not, or I wouldn't be One step from over the edge.
When does it start, where does it, end the grave? Only One knows that and it isn't me. The doctors and specialists know better that me. Is it really depression, or is it burn out, stress? I would at times hope it was the latter. What do you get when you put depression, stress, and burnout in the same sentence? You get one step closer to over the edge. I would hope it would be from burn out since I have been working from the age of 7 or 8. Doing as my Grandpa had said they pay you, you give back. That's something I have always lived by and appreciate from my pops. What is stress, what is depression, what is burnout? To me its One step from over the edge.
One step from over edge.
Now when one is forced to do things they don't feel like doing things get worse. Having to go five and a half hours one away for what you see as a useless matter, especially, when you're told your mother is on the verge of death. Then they have all these questions, about this and that and you have to tell them that you can't say one way or the other, because you're not even able to manage your own affairs. When being around kinfolk that you no longer consider family.
What's sad is when you go outta respect instead of love. It's like they're there but they're not and having to live from behind a mask like you are. People who don't believe in the disease dont understand that it is a crippling disease that millions have to deal with daily. Some will say that there's a cure, well if there's a damn cure why do millions of people a day still go through the symptoms. I am not saying there is not help but I do think that there's a place where it has gone past the point of help. If there was a full cure, there wouldn't be mental hospitals all around the world where folks have gone over the edge.
One step from over the egde. I want everyone to know you'll read online person after person, who have testimonials about how they got help and they're living a normal life. Well I am tickled to death for them, and yes some do get help but not without a price and time.
What really makes being one step from over the edge is when you have grandkids and four of them live close by and you can't hardly stand being around them for the noise, crying, screaming, running around the house, etc. I love all my grandkids so much. I also love my job I have but can't do anymore. Today I got a response from my Supervisor and he said he really missed me and another guy who is volunteering in Iraq, because he could depend on us to get the job done and not have to worry. I wanted to write back and say I was sorry I couldn't be there, but can't because that's part of the problem, I suffer from burnout, or what ever you want to call it, One step from over the edge.
Friend if you are, or have been having such problem, I know your pain, get help now because the longer you wait, the longer it will take to get control of the disease and yes they are diseases, dont let anyone lie to you about it, I know. I waited for over 30 something years and it caught me and hit hard, some of the meds worked for a very short time and some wouldn't work at all, some meds have badddd side effects and can hurt you worse, some make you sick, and some make you mean and angry all the time. Friends if any of you feel that you have become worthless, useless, not caring about anything, start getting help now, because if you don't get help, You'll be one step from over the edge.
I can't say been there done that this time, because I've been there, and still there.
So if anyone besides me and my wife suffer this crippling disease, we'll be here for you if we can, so until next time
this is jesseb's anything goes
Shalom and Peace to Israel
When does it start, where does it, end the grave? Only One knows that and it isn't me. The doctors and specialists know better that me. Is it really depression, or is it burn out, stress? I would at times hope it was the latter. What do you get when you put depression, stress, and burnout in the same sentence? You get one step closer to over the edge. I would hope it would be from burn out since I have been working from the age of 7 or 8. Doing as my Grandpa had said they pay you, you give back. That's something I have always lived by and appreciate from my pops. What is stress, what is depression, what is burnout? To me its One step from over the edge.
- They say stress is "a state of mental and emotional strain or suspense", hmmm.
- They say burnout is "to melt break,or become otherwise unusable".
- And they say depression is "a state of depression and anhedonia so severe as to require clinical intervention".
One step from over edge.
Now when one is forced to do things they don't feel like doing things get worse. Having to go five and a half hours one away for what you see as a useless matter, especially, when you're told your mother is on the verge of death. Then they have all these questions, about this and that and you have to tell them that you can't say one way or the other, because you're not even able to manage your own affairs. When being around kinfolk that you no longer consider family.
What's sad is when you go outta respect instead of love. It's like they're there but they're not and having to live from behind a mask like you are. People who don't believe in the disease dont understand that it is a crippling disease that millions have to deal with daily. Some will say that there's a cure, well if there's a damn cure why do millions of people a day still go through the symptoms. I am not saying there is not help but I do think that there's a place where it has gone past the point of help. If there was a full cure, there wouldn't be mental hospitals all around the world where folks have gone over the edge.
One step from over the egde. I want everyone to know you'll read online person after person, who have testimonials about how they got help and they're living a normal life. Well I am tickled to death for them, and yes some do get help but not without a price and time.
What really makes being one step from over the edge is when you have grandkids and four of them live close by and you can't hardly stand being around them for the noise, crying, screaming, running around the house, etc. I love all my grandkids so much. I also love my job I have but can't do anymore. Today I got a response from my Supervisor and he said he really missed me and another guy who is volunteering in Iraq, because he could depend on us to get the job done and not have to worry. I wanted to write back and say I was sorry I couldn't be there, but can't because that's part of the problem, I suffer from burnout, or what ever you want to call it, One step from over the edge.
Friend if you are, or have been having such problem, I know your pain, get help now because the longer you wait, the longer it will take to get control of the disease and yes they are diseases, dont let anyone lie to you about it, I know. I waited for over 30 something years and it caught me and hit hard, some of the meds worked for a very short time and some wouldn't work at all, some meds have badddd side effects and can hurt you worse, some make you sick, and some make you mean and angry all the time. Friends if any of you feel that you have become worthless, useless, not caring about anything, start getting help now, because if you don't get help, You'll be one step from over the edge.
I can't say been there done that this time, because I've been there, and still there.
So if anyone besides me and my wife suffer this crippling disease, we'll be here for you if we can, so until next time
this is jesseb's anything goes
Shalom and Peace to Israel
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