Tuesday, March 3, 2009

It's 5:00 0 clock somewhere.

Caution: You must be 21 to read this blog, lol.
In everyday life between the hustle and bustle of everyday living, the world can take it's toll. If your one of the 6:30 to 5:00'ers or 9;00 to 5:00'ers, time can go so slowww. It makes anyone who works wish it was 5 o'clock somewhere, why not here and now. Before we got sick, I couldn't wait for that clock to hit beer thirty time. 2 bud lites and I was good, then 3 more then 4, 6, 12 ok enough don't want ya'll to to think I'm a drunk or something of that nature. But as Tom T. Hall once sang, (I like beerrrrr) can't you tell? Beer is good for the heart if drank in moderation, hey that's what the American Medical people say, but beer is like Lay's potato chips who can drink just one? lol. What can I say, pizza just isn't pizza without it. Is it five o'clock yet?

I lived my younger years with pop's and grandma. She drank Lone Star beer and he drank Falstaff beer. He used to tell me I was one of the fastest little brats he had ever seen. They would try and hide their beer beside the chair when they drank, and never saw me, drinking their beer, but all of a sudden here I would come crawling out in the middle of the floor and weeble and wobble, stumble , and want more. They said this once happened about 12 times, but I don't credit them with my drinking, nope I don't. I take full responsibility for my actions. Heck, I liked beer, (ok, ok, maybe it was more than like) I loved that crap. I liked beer but I was forced to drink whiskey at a young age by my step-father, which I think contributed to my drinking more than pop's beer, I love beer.

As young man I would work with my pops (when I was able or allowed to), heck we couldn't wait for 5:00 o'clock somewhere, come on, is it 3:30? When I finally got my wings I began going to the night clubs and never went with my pop's much after that. He had gotten 5 DWIs and was only allowed to drive for work. Dang. I missed those days. The strangest thing about the old night club, it had to be country music (close to home and a safe driving distance), it was also the club that my Mom and Grandma would go to. I loved my grandma, but man it was awful, every time a song began to play it seemed , ( live band) she would come and grab me. Well me being the gentleman that I was, we would dance and dance and dance. (damn) After just the first night I was about ready to give up dancing all together. But about 3 or 4 trips to the club, the ladies were beginning to notice me, (oh wait did I mention that I look like Brad Pitts) NOT, but I did look like me ,lol. Oh hell is it 2:oo am yet get me outta here pleaseeeeee.
Anyone who likes country music, knows that in Texas the night club use to be real small, now a days the clubs are to high tech and to full of teens, to many teens. Now the rest of the story. lol. Texas night clubs as I said are small, smokey, hot and loud, did I mention Hot. Well it was a Friday night I had worked late and went to the club, I really wasn't dirty, just work clothes, wasn't sweaty till I got to the club, I had about 3 girls and granny I danced with. Well that night grandma came for her Friday night dance (oh hell) that night one dance wasn't enough, how about 3 in a row. I was really sweating now. Then in the middle of the 3rd song, she said, "you stink", and of course I said, "huh"? "You stink". It caught me off guard, (oh okkk). She said, "I don't know what smells worse, the beer smell on ya or the garlic smell". Boy that was a real kick in the nads wouldn't you say? Right in the groin (groan) area. Hell, is it get my ass outta here time yettttttt. Well after that for some reason my mom and granny took up bingo. Never knew why.

Then I became friend with 4 guys, we were hell on wheels (not really, but we thought we were). Well they introduced me to a beer I will never ever forget. There must have been people born to drink that crap, and the name said it all, Schlitz Beer. It did just what the name said, it would give ya the Shitzzzzzz ever time. The beer that Milwaukee famous made a pooper out of me, lol. Well as the days went the clubbing got better, Lone Star was my beer of choice. The national beer of Texas, man, I tell ya, wasn't nothing like Lone Star Beer and Bob Wills music, now we're talking. Ahhh it's 5:00 o'clock somewhere.

People change, times change, and Beers change. Drinking habits change. I was about to implode on a new horizon in beer drinking. George Strait had just begun his career and the beer went from Lone Star to either Miller Lite and Bud Lite or Budweiser. Hey, I was ready for an upgrade, give me a break. Well I drank Budweiser for a while till it started tasting like Horse peeoosssss. WELL I spent the next 2 years running with the dudes. One of em died of a stroke at 40. After that there were no 5:00 o'clocks for 22 years, with the exception of about 3 or 4 times taking a drink. Times come and time goe, seasons change, people change, but one thing that will never change and that will be, it will always be 5:00 SOMEWHERE.

Now I drink again, and I started out like a bat outta hell drinking the first 4 years. I guess to some it may be to much, to some not enough, but when you can drink a 30 pack a night that's aaaaaa lot. Well I still drink but maybe it's 8 a week or none a week at all depends on the mood.

But now I don't look for 5:00 o'clock somewhere. Sometimes nowadays, it's beer thirty anytime. Hey folk if it's 5:00 o'clock in your neighborhood, grab you an ice cold Bud, Bud Lite, or Busch. You'll be glad you did.

OK THANKS AGAIN jesseb's anyhing goes


  1. If you looked like Brad Pitt then you could smell as foul as you want to...lol

    Sorry to hear about your loss. Do you and the other two guys still hang out?