Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Living from behind a mask.

Mask what is the definition of a Mask;- something that conceals or disguises something else, such as true feelings or motives. We see and hear all the time about folks who go through their entire life living from behind a mask only to be caught at a later time in life. Every hidden thing shall come to light at one time or the other. There are those who do drugs that you would never think would do such a thing, we always think of it being the low life white or black man, but it's everywhere. It's not only a black on black thing, just like murderers, killers, crack heads and so on and on, who would have thought that the guy in Cleveland Ohio that killed all those women, would be a black serial killer, no one has ever heard of that up to then it was always a "white man" serial killer. See how easy it is to stereotype a person.

Just like people who live with a disease called manic depression, uni-or bi-polar. agoraphobia, panic -anxiety disorders. At times, if you didn't know it, you'd never know they had it. To me out of all of them, I myself think that depression is maybe the easiest to detect on any person when it hits and again I will say that from personal experiences. Being able to get up one morning and you're fine, and this may last several days then all of a sudden, bamm, its got you down for the count, and it hangs with you longer than the good days. They say there are medicines to help, and maybe there are, but how many does a person have to take to even just live a half normal life. well it depends I guess just how severe you have it.

Then again I am at the belief that the longer it goes without being treated the longer it will take to find the right treatment or medication to treat it. I myself have had depression only to find out that I have all the other mentioned diseases, uni-polar, panic anxiety disorder along with depression, along with being one step close to having a heat stroke, that this body is wore out at 51 years of age. We don't know which of the above diseases caused us at times to give everything that we have in our body, no matter what the cost, pushing pushing, pushing til the body says no more. For the simple fact is that when these people are explaining what is wrong and their diagnoses they never talk plain down to earth language. It always seems to be over an under educated person's head.

They ask you how long have you had these feelings, its like, Duh, all my life, then they look at you and ask, "well why have you waited til now to do something about it"? Ah, if you don't understand it, how do you get help. I take medications but anymore they ain't working, and trying to get in to see the people you need to see are always (or it seems) all booked up or not taking new clients. So as it seems I'll continue to live behind the mask, hoping they'll find the right meds to half at least get me straightened out.

til next time jessebs

May God bless you all,

and Shalom and pray for the peace of Jerusalem

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