Friday, April 3, 2009

Problem child

You know we are born into the world as a child, we grow up to be adults and have kids of our own, and their kids grow up and most have kids of their own, it seems a continuing cycle. GOD did say be fruitful and multiply, and man did just that and continues to. There are some people who shouldn't have kids at all, it is those who are self-centered, also known as a narcissist. A narcissist is a person full of egotism and pride, it's all about them and only them. They are the ones who have all the problems, (IN THEIR OWN MINDS), in life they have an ego that is built above the stars, and very proud of what they have. They also have a tendency to have, everything better then anyone else, ( it's called KEEP UP WITH THE JONES'S). You can't have a conversation with them unless its about their horrible life or in some cases their wonderful life and what they are getting. I can speak from experience, I have a stepdaughter that is this way. The name will not be mentioned to protect the innocent.

It seems when things are going her way all is well. Maybe she had a rough childhood, but it couldn't have been any rougher than a lot of other peoples. I realize the world categorizes folks in 3 different categories; we have the wealthy, the middle class and the poor. It's a shame we look at it that way, but that's the way it's been forever. I don't think it is because they were poor that she became the way she is, maybe it was a lack of attention as a child, not enough love, but I can't see that. Maybe it was because she had to compete against a younger half-sister that her dad showed more attention to, maybe it was because of her real parents divorcing when she was young. I really don't know but I know she is a very spiteful and hurtful person.

It seems she has a way to hurt everyone around her, especially my wife, who helped raise her from her pre-teen years through college. Yes, she was her step-mom, but she shows love no different to one than she does the other. My wife couldn't have kids so when she married a man with kids they became her kids, and when we married my kids became her kids also, she loves my kids on the same level as the others, she shows no difference. She has never tried to replace their mothers. She is a great woman. But with all that said, she with the countless thousands of other parents out there, does not deserve to be disrespected or abused by ingrate children.

I have a daughter who moved here with us a few years back from Texas, and she lived with us for a while. It's funny how the other daughter can forget so quickly that at one time she, (the narcissist daughter), lived with us for a while when she moved back here also. The only thing different was one paid her way and the other didn't. (Can you guess which one?) For some reason she gave my wife hell about my daughter staying with us and can't remember she did the same. I guess what I'm trying to get at is, we have always had to walk on egg shells with this girl. We love our grand kids very much all 10 of them, and two of those 10 are her children. She will do everything she can to keep the wife upset by not letting us see them because she's pissed. She has used our seeing our grand kids against us as a punishment, and it hurts like hell. Now it seems the term has come full circle, and the grief is starting again. I realize that my daughter is no saint and she could do more in their sisterly relationship, but how in the hell does one get along with a narcissistic person? Grin and bare it? It gets old.

Well I guess I've whined enough and if anyone can explain to us how to deal with this problem woman-child let us know.

jesseb's anythinggoes

Shalom and Peace to Israel


  1. I would like to know the answer to this as well. As I just know my eldest daughter will do the same to us. Mind you she doesn't have any children right now and hopefully not for a few more years. But I can see her doing the same. I am guessing that the next time you can talk , maybe set up a visitation schedule and that way maybe the next time she argues with you . The visitaions will stay anyways. As she might like the time to herself as well.

  2. I'm so sorry that you are having daughter problems. I am fortunate that I and my daughter are best girl friends. Although...She can be a real pain in the A$$ that is for sure. If she ever used my grand daughter against me, I'd probably go knock the crap outta her. My grand daughter is my life. I'm not just sayin that either. That is just not right. It's like a mom or keeping the other parent away from the child just because the mom had a bad hair day.
    Tell me where this daughter is. I'll go give her what fer..for kidding =) hey, but it sounds good though huh?
    I wish you the best of luck