Damned if you do, damned if you don't

Sometimes when you talk about family it seems you have to watch what you say not to hurt someone in the process, it's a damned if you do and your damned if you don't situation. Anymore I don't know what to write about and not to write about it. Or do you get to the point to where you wonder does it even matter anymore, either they'll love you or hate you. Again I say does it really matter? Don't get me wrong, I love all my kids the same but I came to realize something this past Easter, even though I didn't hear it by ear, but was told second hand (and anymore it seems like everything is second hand), which really doesn't matter one way or the other. As a parent I did do something that I know I won't have to answer for on that day when I have to stand before GOD.

Proverbs 22:6 says this short and sweet. [6] Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

I can honestly lay my head down at night knowing that I raised my children in Church teaching them, (if they listened) how to live and walk for GOD. At times I even wonder though did they even listen? At the heights of my ministry I messed up big time, yes, I got to where I thought I could do things myself without GOD'S help, very stupid thing on my part. I lost my family, my church family and GOD all in the same day, and no I will not go into details, but I heard that one of my girls and my ex said something about the church they had to go to, and me (I), made my ex sick for all those years. So I guess all the years she was supposed to be standing beside me in it all was all just a farce. Wow, what a kick in the groan. Yeah she was sick but not the whole time. I finally came to terms with what I DID and asked GOD for forgiveness, I guess that's why I say your damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Being a Parent and Preacher, even a Christian, can be a beach. Some seem to do everything right then you have those like me that it seems never did anything right at all. Gosh what can I say except forgive me and move on. I guess maybe I did make her sick all those years after I think about it now. It seems that right after we split she started going to the bars and drinking and never took her medicine from what I am told. Guess I'm just a sickening person, lol. Well I guess I've beached enough for now and if someone sees my ex and my eldest daughter out there some where, tell them for me to go ahead and blame me and the church, just don't blame God, okay, cause you just may be damned if you do or not.

P/S I almost forgot something, be careful what you say, GOD does not afflict, things happen sometimes that He uses to try to get our attention and some listen and some rebel. So, before you begin to point fingers, look when you point, there's always three fingers and a thumb pointing back at you. Point and see. And by the way some seem to forget that GOD knows your heart, who is real and who is not. No, I am not judging, just stating facts. I find myself having to defend myself all the time. Well never again, so get over it and move on. Duh

well till next time jesseb's
Shalom and Peace to Isreal

Problem child

You know we are born into the world as a child, we grow up to be adults and have kids of our own, and their kids grow up and most have kids of their own, it seems a continuing cycle. GOD did say be fruitful and multiply, and man did just that and continues to. There are some people who shouldn't have kids at all, it is those who are self-centered, also known as a narcissist. A narcissist is a person full of egotism and pride, it's all about them and only them. They are the ones who have all the problems, (IN THEIR OWN MINDS), in life they have an ego that is built above the stars, and very proud of what they have. They also have a tendency to have, everything better then anyone else, ( it's called KEEP UP WITH THE JONES'S). You can't have a conversation with them unless its about their horrible life or in some cases their wonderful life and what they are getting. I can speak from experience, I have a stepdaughter that is this way. The name will not be mentioned to protect the innocent.

It seems when things are going her way all is well. Maybe she had a rough childhood, but it couldn't have been any rougher than a lot of other peoples. I realize the world categorizes folks in 3 different categories; we have the wealthy, the middle class and the poor. It's a shame we look at it that way, but that's the way it's been forever. I don't think it is because they were poor that she became the way she is, maybe it was a lack of attention as a child, not enough love, but I can't see that. Maybe it was because she had to compete against a younger half-sister that her dad showed more attention to, maybe it was because of her real parents divorcing when she was young. I really don't know but I know she is a very spiteful and hurtful person.

It seems she has a way to hurt everyone around her, especially my wife, who helped raise her from her pre-teen years through college. Yes, she was her step-mom, but she shows love no different to one than she does the other. My wife couldn't have kids so when she married a man with kids they became her kids, and when we married my kids became her kids also, she loves my kids on the same level as the others, she shows no difference. She has never tried to replace their mothers. She is a great woman. But with all that said, she with the countless thousands of other parents out there, does not deserve to be disrespected or abused by ingrate children.

I have a daughter who moved here with us a few years back from Texas, and she lived with us for a while. It's funny how the other daughter can forget so quickly that at one time she, (the narcissist daughter), lived with us for a while when she moved back here also. The only thing different was one paid her way and the other didn't. (Can you guess which one?) For some reason she gave my wife hell about my daughter staying with us and can't remember she did the same. I guess what I'm trying to get at is, we have always had to walk on egg shells with this girl. We love our grand kids very much all 10 of them, and two of those 10 are her children. She will do everything she can to keep the wife upset by not letting us see them because she's pissed. She has used our seeing our grand kids against us as a punishment, and it hurts like hell. Now it seems the term has come full circle, and the grief is starting again. I realize that my daughter is no saint and she could do more in their sisterly relationship, but how in the hell does one get along with a narcissistic person? Grin and bare it? It gets old.

Well I guess I've whined enough and if anyone can explain to us how to deal with this problem woman-child let us know.

jesseb's anythinggoes

Shalom and Peace to Israel