Cope - to handle something successful: to deal successfully with a difficult problem or situation.
Friends, men, especially have a tendency to think we can overcome things on our own, because most of us growing up was told grown men do cry and we have to be strong. Friends, take it from someone who is there and going through the same as you. Living in the past, (the baggage) will eventually catch up with you. Unless you or someone you know are aware of the signs, it will be every hard to detect what is happening.
Many of the things we try thinking that we will get over it, doesn't work. We think that being able to talk to a love one or spouse about our problems will do the trick and fix us but there is more to it than that. We are talking about many many years of carrying past baggage. Getting help or treatment is no different than an Alcoholic seeking helping through AA, or a smoker having help to quit smoking. To many times why we hold onto the past is because we go into what is called preservation mode.
Preservation - Is to protect from harm, danger; to protect.
Many people who have psychological problems are unaware because things happen to us in our youth or growing to where we build up a wall, saying, "I will never let this happen again".
Psychological - Human mind: relating to the mind or mental processes affecting humans: affecting or intended to affect the mind and mental processes.
When I was young there had been a lot of bad things in my life and I say (had been) because it is in the past, now I have a future. People who live in the past have no future. As I was saying there had been things that took place so that one day I told myself, "NO ONE will ever hurt me again". I had built up such a wall I could not break it down on my own. Past baggage hurts everyone around you. I myself believe that 85% of divorces take place because of hurt from things we have no control over or we can't fix ourselves (past baggage).
As much as I hate to bring up these two subjects, they are two examples of why getting help will help you to cope and overcome the baggage of your past.
1. Is battered wife/husband syndrome, yes it can go both ways
2. abuse, (mentally,verbally, or physically), even child molesting/rape which could had happened only once or continue on into their teen and adult years. These are just two of the many things people try to cope with on their own. These are things that causes broken marriages and homes. When things begin to arise in our relationships with others we do have a tendency to get angry or upset to the point that there is no point of repair.
I believe that those things we have heard or experienced in our past stays within us until we can get help. And we bring them into our relationships. Being abusive isn't a way of life, we must face it! Being abusive is a (SICKNESS). We said earlier in this blog that God puts on us no more than we can bare. Many will ask, if He, (God), doesn't, why doesn't or why won't he heal me. To be honest I have no answer to why He won't. The Apostle Paul had a thorn in his side, (not a literal thorn) it could have been a sickness, disease. We really don't know because there isn't much mentioned about it except that He asked God to remove it three times and God said NO, My grace is sufficient. Meaning I guess it is there to keep you (Paul) humble.
Many people suffer from depression and being Bi-polar. Many don't even know that they carry that around everyday. We feel down in the dumps all the times, don't care about things, especially those we love. When we suffer everyone suffers.
Some say that depression can be hereditary.
In which hereditary means - of or relating to,or denoting factor that can be transmitted from one generation to the next.
What cause depression and anxiety -
There are a number of factors that may increase the chance of depression, including the following:
- Abuse. Past physical, sexual, or emotional abuse can cause depression later in life.
- Certain medications. For example, some drugs used to treat high blood pressure, such as beta-blockers or reserpine, can increase your risk of depression.
- Conflict. Depression may result from personal conflicts or disputes with family members or friends.
- Death or a loss. Sadness or grief from the death or loss of a loved one, though natural, can also increase the risk of depression.
- Genetics. A family history of depression may increase the risk. It's thought that depression is passed genetically from one generation to the next. The exact way this happens, though, is not known.
- Major events. Even good events such as starting a new job, graduating, or getting married can lead to depression. So can moving, losing a job or income, getting divorced, or retiring.
- Other personal problems. Problems such as social isolation due to other mental illnesses or being cast out of a family or social group can lead to depression.
- Serious illnesses. Sometimes depression co-exists with a major illness or is a reaction to the illness.
- Substance abuse. Nearly 30% of people with substance abuse problems also have major or clinical depression.
How Is Biology Related to Depression?
Researchers have noted differences in the brains of people who are depressed as compared to people who are not. For instance, the hippocampus, a small part of the brain that is vital to the storage of memories, appears to be smaller in people with a history of depression than in those who've never been depressed. A smaller hippocampus has fewer serotonin receptors. Serotonin is a calming brain chemical known as a neurotransmitter that allows communication between nerves in the brain and the body. It's also thought that the neurotransmitter norepinephrine may be involved in depression.
Scientists do not know why the hippocampus is smaller in those with depression. Some researchers have found that the stress hormone cortisol is produced in excess in depressed people. These investigators believe that cortisol has a toxic or poisonous effect on the hippocampus. Some experts theorize that depressed people are simply born with a smaller hippocampus and are therefore inclined to suffer from depression.
One thing is certain -- depression is a complex illness with many contributing factors. The latest scans and studies of brain chemistry that show the effects of antidepressants help broaden our understanding of the biochemical processes involved in depression. As scientists gain a better understanding of the cause(s) of depression, health professionals will be able to make better "tailored" diagnoses and, in turn, prescribe more effective treatment plans.
What causes being bi-polar or uni-polar - The cause of bipolar disorder is not entirely known. Genetic, neurochemical and environmental factors probably interact at many levels to play a role in the onset and progression of bipolar disorder. The current thinking is that this is a predominantly biological disorder that occurs in a specific part of the brain and is due to a malfunction of the neurotransmitters (chemical messengers in the brain). As a biological disorder, it may lie dormant and be activated spontaneously or it may be triggered by stressors in life.
Although, no one is quite sure about the exact causes of bipolar disorder, researchers have found these important clues:
Genetic factors in Bipolar Disorder
- Bipolar disorder tends to be familial, meaning that it “runs in families.” About half the people with bipolar disorder have a family member with a mood disorder, such as depression.
- A person who has one parent with bipolar disorder has a 15 to 25 percent chance of having the condition.
- A person who has a non-identical twin with the illness has a 25 percent chance of illness, the same risk as if both parents have bipolar disorder.
- A person who has an identical twin (having exactly the same genetic material) with bipolar disorder has an even greater risk of developing the illness about an eightfold greater risk than a nonidentical twin.
- Studies of adopted twins (where a child whose biological parent had the illness is raised in an adoptive family untouched by the illness) has helped researchers learn more about the genetic causes vs. environmental and life events causes.
Neurochemical Factors in Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder is primarily a biological disorder that occurs in a specific area of the brain and is due to the dysfunction of certain neurotransmitters, or chemical messengers, in the brain. These chemicals may involve neurotransmitters like norepinephrine,serotonin and probably many others. As a biological disorder, it may lie dormant and be activated on its own or it may be triggered by external factors such as psychological stress and social circumstances.
Environmental Factors in Bipolar Disorder
- A life event may trigger a mood episode in a person with a genetic disposition for bipolar disorder.
- Even without clear genetic factors, altered health habits, alcohol or drug abuse, or hormonal problems can trigger an episode.
- Among those at risk for the illness, bipolar disorder is appearing at increasingly early ages. This apparent increase in earlier occurrences may be due to under diagnosis of the disorder in the past. This change in the age of onset may be a result of social and environmental factors that are not yet understood.
- Although substance abuse is not considered a cause of bipolar disorder, it can worsen the illness by interfering with recovery. Use of alcohol or tranquilizers may induce a more severe depressive phase.
Now the answer is: there are ways of getting fixed and leaving behind the unwanted emotional baggage we have carried around for years.
First you must have or receive a diagnosis .
Then with the help of the right medications, (different people usually are described different medications). What helps one may not be helpful to another but given a chance there is a right combination that will help with you depression/bi-polar disorders.
And lastly finding the right counselor or therapist that you can feel comfortable with. Some men can relate to women better than men or vice versa.
Don't be ashamed or afraid to ask for help, the only shame is NOT seeking help. If you don't care enough about yourself to seek help, do it for those you love and don't want to hurt.
In airports there are baggage claim areas to pick up your luggage? Get off the plane forget the luggage and leave it there. It won't be easy but it can be done.
I hope this will help someone.